Inordertogetwhatwewantinlife,wehavetobewillingtoreceiveitwhenitappears,andinordertodothatwehavetobeopen.Oftenwegothroughlifewithdefenseswedevelopedearlyoninordertoprotectourselves.Thesedefensesactasbarriers,wallsweneededatonetimetofeelsafe,butthatnowservetoshutoutdesiredinfluences,likeintimacyorlove.Soanessentialpartofbeingreceptivetowhatwewantistosoftenthesebarriersenoughtoletthosethingsinwhentheyshowup.Forexample,wemayspendalotoftimealoneasawaytoprotectourselvesfrombeinghurtbyotherpeople,butwecanseehowthisisnowpreventingusfrommeetingnewfriends.
Anotherobstacletoourreceptivitycanbeourtendencytobelievethatwehavetoactaggressivelyinordertoachieveourdesiredgoal.Thiscancauseustobecomemono-focusedandtofailtosee,andbeopento,opportunitiesontheperipheryofourvision.Sobecomingreceptiveinvolvesasofteningofourdefensesandawillingnesstoremainopentopossibilitiesoutsideourimmediaterealmofvision.Ifwearelookingforloveorfriendship,itmeansfirstlookingwithinourselvestoseewhereweareshutdown,andsecond,notgettingtoofixatedonwherewemightfindthelovewewant.Inthisway,webecomemoreopenasindividualsandmoreexpansiveintermsofwhatweseeaspossible.
Often,thethingsandpeoplewewanttodrawintoourliveseludeusbecauseweareunconsciouslyblockingthemout,eitherwithourdefenses,orwithtunnelvisionthatcausesustonotseethemwhentheyappear.Whenthisisthecase,wecantakeactionbyexploringandsofteningourbarriers,andexpandingourvisiontoencompassnewpossibilities.Theseactionsaretheessenceofreceptivity.