Sometimesitisdifficulttoseesomeonewelovestruggling,inpain,orhurting.Whenthishappens,wemightfeellikeweneedtobeproactiveanddosomethingtoeasetheirtroubles.Whileothersmaywantourhelp,itisimportanttokeepinmindthatweneedtobesensitivetowhattheytrulywantinthemoment,sinceitcanbealltooeasytogetcarriedawayandsayordomorethanisreallyneeded.Allowingourselvestoletgoandsimplyexistinthepresentwithanotherpersonmayactuallyprovideagreateramountofcomfortandsupportthanwecouldeverimagine.
Perhapswecanthinkbacktoatimewhenwewereupsetandneededakindword,hug,orlisteningearfromsomeoneelse.Aswerememberthesetimes,wemightthinkofthegesturesofkindnessthatwerethemosthealing.Itmayhavebeengentlewordssuchas“Icareaboutyou,”orthesoothingpresenceofsomeoneholdingusandnotexpectinganythingthatwerethemostconsoling.Whenweareabletogobacktothesetimesitbecomeseasierforustokeepinmindthatgivingadviceorsayingmorethanisreallynecessaryisnotalwaysreassuring.Whatistrulycomfortingforanotherisnothavingsomeonetrytofixthemortheirproblems,buttojustbethereforthem.Shouldwebegintofeeltheurgearisetoofferadviceorrepairasituation,wecantakeafewdeepbreaths,lettheimpulsepass,andbringourattentionbacktothepresent.Eventhoughwemaywanttodomore,wedonothavetodoanythingotherthanthistobeagoodfriend.
Themoreweareattunedtowhatourlovedonesarefeeling,themorecapableweareoftrulygivingwhatisbestforthemintheirhourofneed.Keepingthingssimplehelpsusgivethepartofourselvesthatiscapableofthegreatestamountofcompassion—openearsandanunderstandingheart.