Inlifetherewillalwaysbetimeswhenweareaffectedbytheactionsofanotherperson.Whenthishappens,weoftenreceiveanapology.Moreoftenthannotwesay,“It’salright,”or“It’sokay,”andbysayingthisweareallowing,accepting,andgivingpermissionforthebehaviortohappenagain.Whenwesay“thankyou,”or“Iacceptyourapology,”weareforcedtositinourfeelingsratherthanignorethem.
Therearemanyofuswhofeelthatitiseasiertobrushoffhowwereallyfeelthantoexpressourdiscomfortwithsomethingthathashappenedtous.Whilethismayinitiallyseemlikethebestthingtodo,whatitreallydoesisputusintoanunendingpatternofbehavior;sincewearenothonestwithanotherperson,wecontinuethecycleoflettingthemoverstepouremotionallimitstimeandtimeagain.Bydoingthisweplaceourselvesinthepositionofvictim.Wecanputanendtothiskarmicchainbyfirstacknowledgingtotheotherpersonthatweaccepttheirrequestforforgiveness;oftenasimple“thankyou”isenough.Totrulycreateagreatersenseofharmonyinourrelationship,however,weneedtogently,andwithcompassion,expressourinnermostconcernsaboutwhathastranspired.Bytakingadeepbreathandcallinguponthedeepestpartsofourspirit,wecanusuallyfindtherightwordstosayandverbalizetheminawaythatletstheotherpersonrecognize!theconsequencesofwhattheyhavedone.
Ifwecanrememberthatourresponsetoothersisimportant,wecanbegintorealizethattrustandforgivenessgohandinhand.Andwhenwereactinawaythatengendersagreateramountofhonestyandcandor,wewillestablishamorepositiveandempoweringwayofbeingandinteractingothers.
