(2)"written"和"writer","TheArtofStrategy"和"It"，"setofprinciples"和"they"为重复用语;
After：Inhisfifty-six-hundredwordclassic,TheArtofStrategy,SunTzuputforthatightlycompressedsetofprinciplesforachievingtriumphoveropposition.
介词结构+同位语+主语+谓语的形式比较好，因为将"SunTzu"放到了最重要成分-主语的位置，其他成分按逻辑排序居次要地位。整个句子很流畅。
Choppy:Ofcourse,theweaponsatSunTzu’stimewerequiteprimitive.Thearmieswereverylarge.TheywerenearlyaslargeasthoseinWorldWarTwo.ThedevastationandhumansufferingswerejustasprofoundasinWorldWarTwo.
Better:ComparedwithWorldWarTwo,theweaponsatSunTzu’stimewerequiteprimitive,butthearmieswerenearlyaslargeandthedevastationandhumansufferingjustasprofound.
Choppy:Proverbsareshortsayings.Theyaredrawnfromlongexperience.
Better:Proverbsareshortsayingsdrawnfromlongexperience.
Choppy:Peoplechangeandplaceschangeaswell.Jenniferfeltthisstrongly.Shehadbeenawayforelevenyears.
Better:Onreturningafteraneleven-yearabsence,Jenniferhadastrongfeelingofhowpeopleandplaceschange.
Choppy:Beijingstreetsarecrowdedwithtaxis,companycarsandprivatevehiclesownedbythenewlyaffluent.Thenumberhasbeenrisingrapidlyinthelastfewyears.Thelateststatisticsshowtherearenow1.2millionvehiclesinBeijingalone.
Better:Taxis,companycarsandprivatevehiclesownedbythenewlyaffluenthavecrammedBeijingstreetsinrisingnumbersinthelastfewyears-1.2millionvehiclesatlastcount.
Choppy:MobyDickisabook.Itisalongbook.Itisaboutawhale.AmannamedAhabtriestokillit.HermanMelvillewroteit.
Better:HermanMelvillewrotealongbookcalledMobyDick.Itisthestoryofastruggleofamanagainstawhale.
Choppy:Thousandsofbuildingsmetthesamefate.Thisaloneisnowbeingpreserved.Itmarksthecenterofthenuclearexplosion.Itisbeingpreservedasasymbol.ItsymbolizesourwishthattherebenomoreHiroshimas.
Better:Ofthethousandsofbuildingsthatmetthesamefate,thisalone,markingthecenterofthenuclearexplosion,isnowbeingpreservedtosymbolizeourwishthattherebenomoreHiroshimas.
Choppy:Ihavealwayshadadream.Mydreamhasbeentobeafamouswriter.Everyonewouldreadmybooks.Iwouldbecomeverywealthy.
Better:Ihavealwaysdreamedofbeingawealthy,famouswriter,readbyeveryone.
Choppy:Thisisawreck.ItwasformerlythestatelyImperialGarden.Itispreserveddeliberatelyasareminderandsymbol.
Better:Thiswreck,formerlythestatelyImperialGarden,ispreserveddeliberatelyasareminderandsymbol.
