ihatebeinganon-smoker.itissoboring!itoccurredtometheotherdaythatireallywouldbealothappierifismoked.whensomeonesays“goodmorning”tome,icannotjustignorehimorherandgohaveasmoke.infact,iseldomgetanextrabreakinmyworkday.icannotstopwhati’mdoingtohaveaquickcigarette.idonotgettogooutsideandhangaroundtalkingtotheothersmokersatregularintervalsonthepretensethati’mhavingnicotinefit.i’mnotabletousenicotineasanexcuseformybadtemperinthemorning.ifmynervesarejittery,imusthavesomesortofpsychologicalproblem.icannotsayitisbecauseihavenothadacigarette.ican’tevengotothepsychologistandpretenditisfor“helptostopsmoking.”
idonothaveanythingtoholdinmyhandtocalmmynerves.idonotgetthesatisfactionofthrowingmybuttsdownforotherstocleanup.noonepraisesmefortryingtoquit—becauseineversmokedinthefirstplace.idonothaveanexcusetobuynewfurniturebecauseiaccidentallymakeaburnmarkonsomething.thecandlesonmybirthdaycakesmokemorethanido.idon’thavetositinthesmokingsectionatarestaurant—andsoiamalwaysinthefamilysectionwithpeoplewhohavetheirkidsalong.atthetheater,idonothaveareasontogoouttothelobbyduringintermissions.ineverhaveanexcusetogetoutofthehouseandruntothestoreforapackageofcigarettes.yes,smokersaremuchhappierpeople.ifitwerejustnotforthatnagginglittlequestionaboutcancer,i’dsmoketoo.