Opinions are divided on the question.
60% of the students are against the idea of entrance fees. They believe a public park should be free of charge. People need a place where they can rest and enjoy themselves. Charging entrance fees will no doubt keep some people away. What is more, it will become necessary to build gates and walls, which will do harm to the appearance of a city.
On the other hand, 40% think that fees should be charged because you need money to pay gardens and other workers, and to buy plants and young trees. They suggested, however, fees should be charged low.
1)该文使用Opinions are divided...作交代句,开门见山,随后两个段落均使用了主题句(见黑体字部分),使全文结构紧凑,表达严谨。
2)在表述要点时范文还对要点出场顺序作了调整,如"40%的同学认为应收门票,但不宜过高。"前部分作为主题句放在句首,而后部分另起一句放在句末:They suggested, however, fees should be charged low.这样就分清了轻重缓急,主题突出,条理清楚。
3)范文使用了and, what is more, however等连词,在段落之间使用了on the other hand(说明前后两个观点是相悖的),这些连接手段的运用加强了句子之间、段落之间的联系,使文章表达连贯,浑然一体。
4)范文在第二段为说明不收门票的"原因"时增加了Charging entrance fees will no doubt keep some people away.等细节,这也是解决句与句之间缺少连贯性的常见方法。
总之,要想使自己的文章有亮点,吸引读者,在考试中获得高分,就应在用词、造句、谋篇上下功夫,哪怕是有一处特长都是"亮"点,都是值得肯定的。